Please forgive my long overdue journal entry. I will try and get as much in as possible.

I believe my last entry was about Ulpan ans the hike to Amirim. I did make an amazing 6 hr. Walk from Safed to Amirim (the vegetarian Moshav village where i have friends) with a strong climb gifting me a breathtaking view of the valleys, hills and Sea of Galilee - what a day it was, full glory. I was determined that I would have to walk all of Israel and get to know the land the real way, on foot. Unfortunately due to the escalating conflict here this was not a wise idea and my hikes were seriously limited.

Ulpan I made it through about a week and a day until they wanted my Oleh Hadosh papers (immigration), and as I was no immigrant, and didn't want to pay the money it cost, I left at break! Ulpan was an interesting mix of mostly Russians, some Jewish, most not ( a big contraversy here that non-jewish russians have been able to immigrate to Israel, alot of them supposably to then be able to get immigration status to America as Russia has filled it's quotia and Israel has not). There was a hassidic man from Holland who is here studying to become a rabbi and has student status. He (like many other orthodox jews), doesn't believe in the secular, state of Israel and won't immigrate or live here when he is done but will return to Holland. There is an orthodox belief that Israel will not truly established or redeemed until the Machiach (Messiah) comes from the Davinic (Kind David's) line and Israel once again has a religious King to return Israel to it's rightful place among the nation's. So it is to this end that they steadfastedly pray and attempt to make themsleves worthy of this event while making themselves as best they can apart from secular Israel and other Israeli's. There's is a facinating glimpse into old europe shtetyl, jewery. The black and white outfits, the hats ( I especially get a kick out of the big fur ones) , the payess (long sidecurls), the beards, and the whole community thing they got going. Israel is quite a mix of people to be sure, and for better and for worse, these folk are one of the distinguishing features.

Oh yes, Ulpan also hosted a slightly wild young man from Kuzbeskastan (look that one up) who spoke no Hebrew, no English or any other language i was aware of. I would see him time to time on the street looking cool and smoking his cigarette and we would hug and give the universal greeting of "what's up?, great to see you, how's it going?" with smiles, claps on shoulders and big hugs (escpecially the time when after doing a mikvah i saw him after he's had a few beers, he was flying, lifting me up in the air screaming Maneshma!? = what's up and Beseder!!! = everything's cool). Isat in class next to a relgious jewish couple from Argentina in their 50's that had immigrated here last week due to the current political uprising that left the country quite unstable. Patrcia, the woman, sat next to me on the right and due to my better understanding of spanish than hebrew, we would communicate and help eachother out in spanish. This would at times get a bit confusing as the hebrew and spanish would mix (ladino!) and though i found it quite charming the teacher didn't like it one bit! Patricia had quite an edge to her, very fiesty. She would make her opions know to me in spanish quite often. She didn't like the teacher, the russians, the Ulpan, etc. and once she found out i was unmarried she would suggest different possible wives for me from the class - i was amused (to a point!) and uninterested. Just last week i heard one of the young russian girls was looking for me (she is only 19!) and i thought that was funny, wonder if Patricia had been talking in her ear - To my left sat the three Americans. (besides me) Avishi was to my immediate right and then his girlfriend, Elisheva and then ? (a religious woman from Florida, you should have heard her gringo, accent of hebrew!, sometimes you just get really embarassed about Americans - ) Avishi was an interesting character i heard about a couple weeks before from Bunny one Shabbat weekend. He was described as a despicable character that made my aunt sick to the stomach from his various ignorant outbursts and i was warned that he might be in Ulpan. Ironically i find myself in the chair next to him, and the first person i am having conversation with (i told him nothing of knowing of him before of course!). He was from LA and had moved here hinting at problems in the states. Later i heard about troubles he got into in Jerusalem that landed him in Safed. Elisheva was his girlfriend he has convinced to move over with him to Israel. I witnessed some serious tension between then before classes that was later expanded apon by Elisheva when we ran into eachother one night on the midrihove (the central street of commerse, cafe's etc.), where she told me more of their story. It seems he had got her to move with the promise of getting married once they got to Israel and once here had backed out of the idea, and even being together in any real way. ( perhaps it was the Safardic women?) She was in a bit of shock over it all -

The last day for me in Ulpan was a knockout. It witnessed from all the people i knew best there some of the most dispicable, disgusting things come out of their mouths at different intimate moments and i tell you i was ready to be out of that classroom - it wasn't my idea of a good way to spend my time! I did learn a few things and had myself yet another interesting glimpse at one more side of the Israeli experience. Leaving the class was a relief and i felt much happier the next day arising with no obligations to get to class (8am-12:30) and the freedom to explore new avenues.

Hmmm, what did i do then? I'm looking to my book for clues - ah, i see i was doing some kabbalistic studies and remember writing a song inspired from them in the wee hours of the night, a kind of Johny Cash tune with a hasidic bend -

"All my bones will speak their confessions
all my bones will sing.
Lift my wearied soul unto heaven,
all my songs are for thee -
Oh, my Angel, angel fallen, won't you lift your wings?
Oh my Lady, my Lady forsaken, all my songs are for thee -
Li de di di de di di di di di di di, li de di di de di -

Ok, i see now, Bunny and I at the end of that week made a trip to down to the desert. Bunny had a desire to check out an eco-kibbutz she had read about and explore more options of winter living in Israel. This time we decided to go in style and rent a car. I was much more exicted about this due to my continued experience of quesiness from past long bus trips. (only in Israel, go figure?) We took a bus to Tiberias, where we rented a car, picked up some apples from the shuk, sine amazing pizza sized flat breads and zatar fro the woman making them fresh at the corner, got some omeny from the cash machine and headed down the road on our new adventure. It was so fun to have a car to drive and i experienced a little of the feeling i had from hiking, the freedom of movement and the desire to see all the country - there were some beautiful views -

We had to make it to the top of the Dead Sea to another kibbutz where we had reserved a room for the first night and due to the fact that we were warned not to go down the the road (highway 90 i think) that would take us straight down, but also through the disputed territories and an area where recently an American woman was taking out of her car and shot by Palestinian terrorists, we would have to go a much longer route down through Tel Aviv, over to Jerusalem and then east over to the top of the Dead Sea. So we had to make some time. All was uneventful, except for the spilling of a third of the zatar in the car on a quick turn that made us smell like one big middle eastern snack and the wrong turn (due to our animated conversation) that was beginning to challenge my sense of direction and was confirmed when i saw a sign saying Gaza, 15 km or some such distance. Hmmm, no we didn't really want to go there - i found an alternate route and we amde our way back up to Jerusalem. I tell you, the climb up the hills into Jerusalem is always quite thrilling in an undescribable way - aliyah - we stopped in a park for a piss and a view, circled the old city, got some directions from some policemen in the truck next to us and made it out of the city at sunset and got a beautiful view of the encroucing desert (Jerusalem is in hills of pine and olive), the bedoine herders camps of goats and sheep and then down down down into the Dead Sea. We found the kibbutz and realized it was right next to Qumeran, the old Essene community that produced the famous Dead Sea Scrolls found in nearby caves by a bedoine herder and which created quite a stir in the religious and scholaristic circles. I had wanted to check this place out before and was excited by the idea of visiting it the following day as it was now dark. We checked into our suite’, a nice, simple kibbutz style room with it's big luxury, a tv. We made a tour of the place, bought a few things in the small grocery store, i got a call from my dad on my cellphone which was great (i sang him that hassidic Cash tune and we had a laugh), and we made our way back to the room where we put together a nice cold dinner and watched a movie (a treat). We were both tired from the day and i wanted to get up early to take a pre-dawn hike into the surrounding mountains, so we both turned in.

The next morning i awoke around 4:30am, got dressed and slowly walked up to the front gate to ask the soldiers there if they would let me out. I explained what i wanted to do, they thought it an interesting idea but told me that earlier in the evening a terrorist had made his way into the next town up (they had me look over at lights where it was, so i could see how close it was, about 5 miles or so) and had started shooting people before he slipped away and was now being tracked down. They didn't think it such a good idea for me to be out walking by myself - "come back tomorrow", they said. I wouln't be here tomorrow i thought to myself but agreed and walked slowly back feeling a bit sad about the state of affairs and a bit stir crazy about being caged, in the kibbutz and really wanting to get up into those mountains for sunrise - .i looked around to see if there was any other way out of the place (would i have really gone if there was?) and as there was none decided it was better off being safe and eventually sound asleep again. I awoke later to relate the story and go with Bunny for a nice Israeli breakfast in the huge empty dining room. We packed up, checked out and make our way down to the Qumeran site. There was a small admission fee which we paid and were treated to a little movie showing a re-enactment of what life may had been like in the community. Cute. Kind of a biblical hallmark moment. Bunny didn't think they’de wear white all the time, not practical. We took a stroll through the cavelike museum and then out to the actual site of ruins. They lived in a facinating community of stone rooms, personal and communal, a common dining hall where they ate their meals together in silence (good for digestion! Smile), there was the scribes room, a potters area, places for goats, sleeping quarters, etc. There were many mikvahs (ritual bathing pools) scattered throughout the site and you could see that the cleansing baths were very popular and a strong part of daily life ( i wondered where they got all the water ). I let my imagination run a bit and tried to envision what life had looked like here in their time and got quite a beautiful image. Of course i do tend to run on the romantic side of things - they might have been a bunch of uptight puritans! The little bit i do know about them was that the Essenes were a religious Jewish sect that broke off from the main branch of Judiasm life centered in Jerusalem at the time that they saw as corrupt, and various groups retreated to the desert wilderness to set up communtities that that would live the pure, way and keep alive the true, teachings of the Jewish faith. It is said they were healers and mystics, closer to the path of prophesy and strong believers in the preparation of the coming of the Messiah. There is much mystery surrounding them, even the idea that both John the Baptist was one of their own and that infamous guy Jesus was taught by them as well - there was another communtiy near Nazareth - who know's? This is the land of living myth -

The sun got a bit much for Bunny and we eventually left the site to the German tourists, checked out the gift center where Bunny picked up a sunhat and we again hit the road heading to kibbutz Lotan. We passed Masada (the last stronghold of Jewish resistance during the Roman conquest, oh wait, i talked about this before didn't i?), another place i had wanted to hike up (ever since i had heard that Alpha Blondy tune so long ago, "I'm gonna witness Jah rising sun, from Masada - "), perhaps another time - We took the route to Mitpe Rimon, the canyon lands of Israel, a regular old Grand Canyon style landscape. The view here is amazing, you feel like you’re in the southwest, and once again i am reminded how interesting is the landscape in this tiny country the size of New Jersey (who really knows anything about New Jersey, let alone how big it is?). From the meditereanean hills and valleys to hawaiin style sub-tropics to pine forests to pure desert, this is one diverse eco-sphere and micro-cosm. Now if everyone could just share it peacefully -

We stopped for an Israeli lunch at the restuarant there (bad service, better food), took a nice walk along the overlooking cliffs (joined for a moment by a beautiful mountain goat), had a brief conversation with a former American woman who spends her weekends here and who invited us over to her place to stay ( i think she was a bit lonely, in fact, we have been noticing there are many lonely people here, especially foreign immigrants, me included! Smile.), We declined the offer to get back on the road. After a beautiful drive through the desolate desert hills (i now felt like we were now in the northern Mexican desert, minus the occasion camels or hebrew/arabic signs), we made it to the Negev valley where we gazed down at the date orchards and saw what muct be the kibbutz - it was sunset and the sky and land was alight like lovers in the afterglow -

We arrived into Lotan into what looked like quite a funky little place - the first thing you see is the junkyard/recycling area - i could tell right off these folk didn't have much going in the way of asthetics -

Check-in was interesting. It was almost Shabbat and we got someone on the cellphone to meet us - it is Michael, a man in his 60's and quite a character. He runs us around a bit confusedly (don't think he usually does this) and gets us our room, key, extra blankets and shows us where the evening service will be in about 20 minutes and where dinner will be afterward. We take showers and head to the service to check it out. They had already begun -

Lotan has an Israeli reform, religious approach and we found the service to be quite nice and relaxed, mostly singing in the Carlebach, style of niggun melodies. Shlomo (Solomon if you can believe it, Shlomo!) Carlebach was a character in the 60's who brought alot of music, celebration and joy into his orthodox approach to religion, much in the style of the early hassidic rabbis who preached finding G-D through joy and song, he was known as the hugging, rabbi. The men and women were intermingled and both sang together and ended with everyone together with arms around shoulders in circles singing. We both later agreed that it was a really nice appoach to Judiasm and we were very appreciative.

After the service we all went into the dining room (about 150 people) where we sat at the guest table with a group of Jewish educators from England, and Michael and his lady friend from Germany who he had met at an international conferance of intentional communities and had then invited to come and visit him here in Lotan. She was a very nice lady (she sat next to me on my left) and invited me to visit her community in Germany, ginving me a brochure on it which looked very interesting. You could tell the german commune was quite developed and had their trip together. If anyone is interested their name is ZEGG (which in english stands for Center for Experimental Cultural Design). Their website is www.zegg.de.

We had a good Shabbas meal. In fact i thought the food at Lotan was the best part. The dinners were quite good, the breakfast great and eating with all the people was fun. I missed the Saturday lunch as i finally made it out into the mountains, spending the day climbing peaks, collecting stones and reflecting on the state of the universe and humanity as usual - a great walk - a lighlight was an overcropping altar, i found with an amazing view wher i sat and sang and prayed and ate a small snack - staying for awhile...

3/12/02

Well I am as about as far behind as ever in journal logs, I have been unable to get email access and apoligize if I left anyone hanging. SO much has happened since my last entry I couldn't even begin, but will work on it soon. Just wanted to check in that me and my aunt are ok, i'm back in Safed, the country is a mess, we're making travel plans, there are no seats left on any early flights back, we are looking into a trip out of the country in the meantime, we have a relative in Venice we've never met that we're trying to get a hold of and see if we can afford to go and visit her, I've been stopped 2 times in 4 days by police for terrorist checks, have to renew my visa tomorrow and pay for that which feels ironic...ah, what to say? Taking it day to day and beginning to dream of a simple return to the Northwest. Missing everybody. Ready to get back to making music. I'll do some past entries when I get a chance! Until then, love to ! you all...rafe.

2/5/02

After a long Svat week and Shabbat weekend, I had reached my limit religious life...Svat is a town full of 'Dati' (orthodox religious) and though incredibly facinating, at times it is but yet another layer of Israel intensity. As one part of my journey here is the interest in understanding Judiasm and it's many facets, both ancient and modern, orthodoxy/hassidism and the like has it's place in the search. Ah, but I needed to get some space away...

Being that the weather had improved with some wonderfully sunny days, I decided to start hiing and exploring the countryside, get out of my head and people and onto the earth...a simpler place to stand...I chose to follow the wadi (valley/arroyo) near the city down and see where the goat trails led me...

The cherry trees are beginning to bloom...light pink and alive...shockingly red flower (poppies?) bursting out amid the olive green and greyed stone...I find an extra-ordinarily sweet spot and sit and sketch cows, grazing, scratching their ears on olive branches, the occasional look at me wondering who/what I am and if i'm important..."no I say, I am a fly on the stone, watching, pass me by..." I split an orange and soak it all in...the earth continues to amaze me in it's glory..."the garments of G-D".

It's so beautiful and peaceful away from the humans...(smile)

I continue on down the wadi, running into a couple of hikers who i give directions to (i've always had this great sense of direction) and make my way down until I see an old tomb up on the side of the cliffs and decide to make my way back up...I had begun this trip thinking to find some of the wild 'zatar' I have heard haunt these hills...Zata or zatar is the mother herb that has become oregano, greek oregano, magoram (sp?), and thyme. It tastes like a blend of all three with a little sage thrown in. My last trip to Israel got me hooked on the dried spice mixture they make with it, sesame seeds, and i believe sumac and salt. Devorah Pearlman turned me on to an even better recipe of roasted fresh zata in olive oil, salt and seeds...ah, ah ah yum! So needless to say I was excited to find my first wild zata...but, so far no luck! I was just musing on how I would have to make some at home with the bit of zata left with me from Karen, a wonderful ! woman-friend of Evs' that I remet after Klil when her and Ev came to Svat on thursday...Karen was looking for the RamBam school of herbal medicine and Ev and I wanted to play some music together with the idea of perhaps dong a few small shows to get some food money together...we are learning a few covers, something i have never done and have always wanted to...ah, you should have heard the Hebrew Gospel music with their help I was able to get started (perhaps a first! Maybe this is another of my new signiture sounds (smile)...) Ah but I got sidetracked but that was something to share anyway...we had a fabulous Bunny cooked dinner to come up to after singing out the whole neighborhood (things carry in stone)...

SO, just as I had that thought about doing the zata at home up, there to my left was my first wild zata plant! ah, how happy and excited was I?! A quick scan of the area confirmed that I had hit a patch and I proceeded to do a nice random harvest...pure joy, pure joy.

After saying some thanks and blessings for the gift and my good fortune, I made my way up the cliffs to the tomb...it was Saturday and still Shabbat and as I just got up to the top i noticed a man all in white ropes, prayer shawl and beard coming down the path. He stopped in the nearby trees, clapped a half dozen times or so, echoing through the valley, and proceeded to chant prayers in hebrew for the next 20 minutes or so...I in the meantime had found a nice stone outreached perch where I sat crosslegged, listened on and breathed...this weeks Parsha (chapter of the Torah/Bible, they read the whole thing through over a year) dealt with silence and the listening that accompanied the original giving of the Torah at Mt. Sinai and how Moses' father, a chief of Midian, had heard and had been the first to say "Baruch Hashem" (blessed is the Name)...so it felt right to but be present and listen. Listen to it all...the wind, the voice, the screaming hawk, the silence.! ..mmmm

After some time (the other man had left earlier), I made my way around the mesa and back through the pine forest with the cows and eventually up into the human realm of Svat, leaving the cows to their own wandering tribe...

A truly good day. And one I needed.

I decided that tomorrow I would walk from Svat to Amirim, something I figured you could do looking at the valleys below and knowing that Amirim was somewhere around that next big hill...the valleys looked so tempting with the remains of ancient dwellings visible from above, and I was due to stop in Amirim Sunday anyway...

So, that journey I will tell next, and then, the incredibly trying and interesting experience of my first 2 days in Ulpan, the place that immigrants come to learn the Hebrew language together. Ah what a gathering of folk this is...

I will write again soon. SHALOM/SALAAM. rafe.

1/26/01

So, Ev called me in Safed to mention that Devorah Pearlman, the woman whos' house she caretakes in Klil, was having a birthday on Friday and a Pearlman family gathering the following day and would we like to come, meet some Pearlmans etc...Bunny loved the idea...I had a thought about calling Gidi, a man in Klil that with his family has a small pub he opens on Thursday and Friday nights with some form of live music, booze, soup, local goat cheeses and breads, weekly made pickled carrots and other treats...we had met the previous trip I made to Klil (one I still need to write about, it was a great journey into Druz land, the ancient burial tomb mikvah etc etc) and he had said he would love to have me come and play...they offer nice guest houses for the musicians and tips...I thought at the time I would love to play and get a cabin and treat Bunny to a weekend in Klil, so she might enjoy the beautiful rural truly meditteranean setting...so, before I even had a chance to call! Gidi about playing, he called me saying he had a cancellation and could I make a last minute decision and help him out with a show...I told him the plan of coming already and we agreed...yalla.

Thursday afternoon we hopped on a bus and headed to the sea, to Acco, an great old seatown with Jews and Arabs peacefully co-existing...an ancient seaport at one point Roman, there are Roman ruins all over in classic Israel style of layer apon layer of civilizations risen and fallen...it's beautiful, we stopped for Kanafe (my favorite Middle Eastern dessert consisting of an extremely thin Arab wheat pastry noodle, goat cheese and a syrup of rosewater and spices...Moshe, who met us with his friend Sarit at the bus station, told us that a man had travelled all over the Arabic Middle East in search of the finest Kanafe, determining that Damascus was the place, guess I'll have to see if the myth is true...)

Traders from all over the world made their base in Acco years past, and the old walls, aqueducts, churches and mosques, fishing boats and markets are still reminiscient of older times...beautiful...after a little shopping in the Shuk (for zatar, the very best of herbal seasonings, a sharpening stone for my old Alaskan 'Old Timer' skinning knife, a mortar and pestel, and for Moshe sumak, another amazing seasoning) we made our way to the water for a fabulous Mediteranean sunset...and then, to Klil...

checking in with Gidi and the Pub we were given his mothers' nice wooden cabin (she is out of town for the weekend) as our abode...very nice...a quick dinner at Devorahs' with her and Ev (Bunny finally gets to meet them both, and it's a hit), i leave a bit early to get a shower and try and get a little energy for playing after a very long day...a luckwarm shower and some very strong black and soon it is 10:30pm and time to make a little music for a nice full house of locals and outsiders who have begun to frequent the pub...no set list of course and haven't played these songs for so long I say one of my classic weak hellos and decide to sing instead, singing 'Beloved' and ? and decide it's time to give them a some truly 'American' music and we get some singing and clapping going with the gospally 'Alla People' and backporch 'Sherry' and 'Catfish'...telling fish stories and the whole bit...fun...Ev calls out for 'Delores' and we get a little wild and clapping...! some sweet sad love songs with 'A lovers' dream' (new song written right before i left..."i dream of foreign lands...") and 'Wake', 'Eye of Joseph', 'Ameyen' and an extended sweet sweet folk singing together and teaching of Melanies' 'Lay Down', which later they find the original version and blast on the stereo...I can't remember the rest, but all in all a very beautiful night was had by all...afterwards I had some deep conversations with some of the older men in the place about my songs, music and how they felt about it and where I should go with it...all positive, and quite interesting to hear from these old Israelis...the whole night really got me thinking and feeling about the music, as this trip has been so much about looking/discovering what is the next phase/where to put my energy/creativity/where the passion is for me/how to best serve, share, and give something to other people, in foreign lands, in America, anywhere, what it all means anymore, yadda yadda yadda...it! really stirred things up inside and moved some energy to be sure...have to say I missed having all my different friends to play with as well, the 'Walking Jupiter' boys (we could have blown their minds and got them boogying!), sweet David on the tablas, Anil, everyone...bless you all and thank you all so much and what a gift when we are able to play music together....

It was a howling cold eastern wind night and I went back to the house to find Bunny still awake and Moshe, Sarit, Ev, Bunny and I hung out and talked eventually playing songs and singing together the sweetest songs of the night as the moon set yellow to orange again over the sea as the wind howled along...Bunny retiring around 2:30am and us singing until 4am, a beautiful bluesy prayer coming out "Mama please Mama hear your children, Papa please Father hear your children, over here on the other side of Jordan, we're over here on the other side of Jordan...cool cool Jordan, Jordan cool......." over and over and over with the wind, calming our worked up souls...ah, music sweet music.

The next day after 2 hours sleep Moshe and I travel down the road to get the local goat cheese and fresh bread for breakfast...ah, life is good...later Bunny and I take a great walk and talk of finding a little place near to the Sea where we could create a little family sanctuary in Eretz Yisrael (the land of Israel)...we make a pact to go and look soon...we later join Ev for tea and salad at the goat cheese makers nice restuarant and talk of future plans and past events and enjoy the place, company and moment of it all...

Later, after leaving Ev, we return to Devorahs' for a glorious Birthday Shabbat (Devorahs' Bday)...the house is full of the best local folk, many of who I know, the table is full of wonderful food, good wine...Avi, the middle eastern percussionist fisherman that I want to take me and my Dad fishing Israeli style some day, has brought fresh caught fish and his own fresh baked bread...of course we eat and drink ourselves into oblivion...ah, life can be so good...

Saturday is the Pearlman gathering...we arrive early and I help out a little with the preparation of the Apple Pie/Cake...mmmm, this looks good...Devorahs' mother and father arrive first and we get t meet the older Pearlmans and the storied begin to unfold as we attempt to peice together histories and find where they overlap...here's a couple of tidbits...

It seems all the Pearlmans came out of the Ukraine around 1910-1915...as Grandpa Pearlman said referring to the different spellings, one (ours) Pearlman and the other Perlman, "There are 2 kinds of Pearlmans', the one's that knew how to spell and the ones' who didn't. Our family has both types." In 1910 his father left Russia on a boat bound for Galvison, Texas and due to the flooding of the Mississippi they ended up in Winapeg, Canada (go figure that). You know I might be one of those Pearlmans' who can't spell, please forgive my writing! His father later brought all his brothers and one sister to Canada, and I believe he said some moved to Sascatuan and some to Calgary. His uncles had a softdrink bottling factory of 7up and Orange Crush and he said "All the family was brought up with a bottle of 7up in their mouths and 10 bottles in their hands..." His brother? or uncle? Yale moved to New York and started a bakery, speciali! zing in yes of course you guessed it BAGELS! He said it was a family of many artists and gamblers as well and well of course that fit our family picture to a T...Grandpa Pearlman studied Agriculture in Vancouver, Canada and felt the calling to leave the city and get back to the earth and wasthe one of his family to make the pilgrimage to Israel in pursuit of that dream...he must have came in the 50's, as he said he's been a "Kibbutznik" here for over 50 years..."I've been running after cows and such all of my life..." It was here that he met his wife, an immigrant from South Africa (I've been meeting TONS of South African Jews here) and they got married and have lived and worked on the Kibbutz ever since...after Devorahs' brother, wife and 4 children arrived, we sat and had tea and Gramma Pearlmans' traditional chocolate cake (with fresh kibbutz whipped cream frosting, I had 2 peices, as did all sane folk at the table)...after tea we all went outside to continue ! a wonderful Jewish tradition/holiday called TuB'Svat (too bis svat) a once a year time holy-day centered around the planting of trees...Ev told me an old story of how and old religious man was planting trees when another man came jumping up and down saying "What are you doing?!!! The Messiah has come!!! Why are you not running to meet him?!" to this the old man replied that the Messiah would just have to wait until he was done planting his trees, for THEYcould not wait any longer...the story was to illustrate that the planting of trees is considered one of the greatest mitsvahs (good deeds)...ah, something we can all accept and honor...

So the whole family of Pearlmans made their way down the road to Devorah's picked spots and began the digging of the 'virgin' earth...Devorahs' brother and I and his kids got together with pickaxes (i broke one old handle on a huge stone), shovels, spades, and fingers and with some good sweatbreaking work opened the first hole...in goes the fruit tree, in goes the 'mime" (water), in goes the 'adama' (earth), in goes the feet to pack it down, i treach around for future rainfall, and a circle of stones to put that finishing touch that says, "we empower you to live!" We repeated this satisfying process three times until all three trees were sucessfully and beautifully in the earth...I remember feeling a sense of "rightness" about it all...it seemed that both the earth and heavens were joined in happiness and they met in the center of my own being...as if in that moment we were all connected in such a true, 'grounded' (smile) real and beautiful way...and so we were! ! As we all returned to the house for a great Shabbat lunch and later retired to the outside to watch the sunset over the sea and I was requested to "sing for my supper" and we all sat down and sang together over tea and the apple pie, I felt a change come over my entire being, that place of rememberance, that place of wholeness that knows how life should? could? CAN BE. for in that moment it simply WAS. ISness...simple and true...the greatest blessing of all...people brought together over good work, good food and good song...such is the simple glory and blessing of life...where there can be peace, inner and outer between us...all so much more important and meaningful in a world surrounded with conflict...

I truly give thanks for when we are able to plant and to know and experience wholeness and togetherness...AMEN!!!

Here's a brief glimpse into the beauty and connectiveness of the Hebrew language...

ADAMA-earth ADAM-man DAM-blood A-God ....you can see the connection!

Ok, I got to go again, my time is up! love, rafe.

1/25/01

Sorry I haven't had a chance to write for so long...i'll try and give a little bit of a checkup...

Last I wrote I was in Jerusalem...I spent a day in the old city...though much less profound than my first times to this place, it is always a fascinating mix of so many complex emotions...gazing out over at the Western Wall as the noon Islamic call to prayer echos throughout the walls is quite an experience...spent a couple of hours there at the wall, observing, writing a long extensive prayer on a peice of my journal which i eventually put deep within the cracks of the old stone...all that is left of the outer walls of the second Temple, a constant place of prayer and rememberance...I enjoyed hanging out with the young children the most, smiling walking backwards leaving the Wall...and sitting eating lunch with a group of soldiers outside (all in silence)...the depth of communication without words...there is still the beautiful innocence in the children...the night before I had found out about a music school outside the Damascus Gate of the Old City and called them! that afternoon to get a 4pm meeting with Avi, the head of the place, 'Mercaz la Musica Um Mahol Clasi Ma'am Mizrash'...Ev was in town as well and we met near the Jaffa Gate and went together to find the small school on the border of the Jewish and Arab areas...the school offers Arab, Persian, Indian, Turkish, Ladino and Safardic Torah as well as theory and a Sufi course this next year...a real funky little place...after singing a moment for Avi, he was very encouraging to coming back in November to study...i left gathering info with a new possibility on my mind...study in Jerusalem?...we went for tea in a small place i had visited those years before with Yoel and listened to Elvis and some rockabilly...go figure...i made it back to Eliyahu's place grabbed a couple 5 scheckle falafils' (one of the true bargins' of Israel, about $1) and grabbed a bus to the central station to get another bus to the Dead Sea to reconnect again with Bunny...only to find out the bus ! info guy had told me the wrong information and the bus i was getting wouldn't get the the distance i needed to go...only to Ein Gedi and not Ein Bokek...i decided to go ahead and risk it and figure i'd find a ride the extra distance, a 1/2 or more down the road...as we're waiting for the bus a local tells me there won't be any taxis' or people going out as it will be after 10pm by the time we get there...i still feel the desire to push on and eventually find myself at the end of the line at Ein Gedi, a beautiful kibbutz on the Dead Sea, an oasis of sorts...the bus driver says i will have to stay the night there and catch an 8:30 bus in the morning...it still doesn't seem right but i follow along and he brings me to the small hostel there (he lives in Ein Gedi and is going home for the night), the hostel is closed, he thinks for a minute and calls the guy garding the gate/entrance to the place and in broken english explains to me that i should go with him and he will put me u! p for the night...the guard comes and picks me up and takes me down saying i could either wait there at the gate and wait for someone to come and catch a ride, very unlikely as he sees it, or he can pull a quick manuver and leave his post and bring me to the road by a lighted bus stop and i can take my chances there...i figure take me to the bus stop, we split,. turning around once to let in a car that passes us, he opens the gate by remote control (like a garage door opener) and the spin around and make it down the road to the stop...on the way i find out that he's spent some time in Wenatchie, Wa visiting an Israeli friend who lives there and we talk about Washington and how no one he knows (including tarvel agents) had ever heard about Wenatchie, or where it is...anyway, a sweet thank you, i'm out of the car and a truck is coming in the distance, i flag it down, it stops, two guys sitting in the front, i say "Ein Bokek?" and next thing i know i'm down the road with tow wi! ld Arab candy merchants on their way to the shuk in Arad...they speak alomost no english but are determined to find out who i am, where i come from, if i'm married and why not, and a plethora of broken conversation, sign language, great "WELCOME TO YISRAEL!!!" punctuations and some generally crazy driving, wild humors and in the end truly good people...i made it...sorry Mom/Dad if you're reading this, i know the last thing you wanted to hear about was me hitchhiking in the middle of the night along the Dead Sea so close to the disputed territories...but hey, those Angels take care of me ya know?

To make a longer story short we headed back to Safed the next morning via Jerusalem by bus with a beautiful ride with Jordan in the distance...disputed territories, soldiers, the regular, with a bad connection and a missed stop we arrived extremely late and burned out but glad to be home...

At this moment we are in Klil...and i will try and share about this journey tomorrow...

So much of the inner journey i would love to share as well...really a bigger part of it all...

love you all so very much.

1/15/02

I left Safed with Bunny heading for the Dead Sea with the first stop in Tiveria, for a bus to Yerushaliem...we were told we might miss our bus in Jersualem for the connection to the Dead Sea...I discovered once again I have a quesy uneasy roadsickness kinda feeling from Israeli busses...unfortunate...

Here are some images from the road scribbled in my book...

Here I gaze from behind bullet proof glass...as we roll through a narrow strip of disputed desert land...date palms...a young girl with a backpack and a machine gun...napping soldiers on the bus home for 3 days...everywhere guns and kippas...as religion and reality ride side by side...closer we come to the presence of the conflict...inner and outer sourrounds us...sign of it everywhere, another checkpoint, my aunt checks her makeup, she's hoping to meet a man at the Dead Sea Spa...a dark old soldier perhaps...imagine if every one of us had to go into the army in a country the size of a smaller state in conflict, surrounded by "enemies"...even the great American bubble is broken, though here is a different reality...Is Real as they say...I can almost feel the Wall calling me to touch it, to pray...for the music of the union of the many tongues...beautiful and biblical, ugly and modern...side by side we move on, to where i wonder? so many stones, everyone needs a home...pass a younger mosque, an older church, saints come and gone...there is true reason here to pray...desert basin you can smell the dust of ages...checkpoint after checkpoint...sun glitters on broken glass...why I am here again, checking with the inner silence for the speaking of that other voice...the fool walks on...we need new true prophets to lead us...on the road to Yerushaliem...a pilgrim...one of many, one of a kind, one of a kind soul...will we make the bus to the Dead Sea? Time is running out, there is another time...the ongoing story...2 Arabs walking Wadi...you can see the trail worn by the wind, rare waters, goats and jeeps...a covered Arab with a magnificent bejeweled camel...a slow moving magic carpet...this is not Kansas...nver been there before.. yellowed tombstone, black hebrew...Bedoine country...who else could live here...camps...keeping sheep eating on the faint trace of green...runis apon ruins, patterns creeping out underneath...nam on donkey leading camel...boy on burrow...20 K from Yerushaliem...the return of trees...the climb to Yerushaliem...living in stone...this is a poor country with a rich heritage...all these olive trees and still no peace...some of the best olive oil on the earth though, a whole different experience...GOD is here, it is man who loses sight...new modern bus station...we miss our bus by 4 minutes and take a last minute alternate route to Beer Sheva...3 out of 4 holy cities in one day...head spinning but I think it's the bus, not too much holiness to swallow, more the mundane.

or was it that hummous by bus we ate? as life moves on and we gaze out the window...a tease of Jerusalem, and we're off again...Beer Sheva, exhaustion, need food...change busses to Arad...a sherut (taxi) to the Dead Sea, this is the LONG WAY to go...7 hours now? OUr driver an ex-bombadeer wih a plate in his head from the war, passes 3 small semi's on a turn (in the dark) i see the headlight coming around the corner, a second to wonder what will happen, at the last minute he makes a quick swerve between semis and we are still alive...my aunt mentions the Arab drivers are even worse (he's Jewish)... from the highest city in Israel (Safed) down down down to the lowest place on earth...this was the place of the Essenes...tonight we arrive into another time, as once again the ancient and modern meet in a once Holiday Inn taken over by Crown Plaza, we enter into the modern oasis...slightly reminisent of Las Vegas...food, coffee, thank God, we are done for today (to think I was going to get right back on a bus to Jerusalem) no way...first glimpse of TV...euro MTV, another world...i crash on the floor to restless sleep, awake in the morning to the most glorious sunrise, the perfect reflection on the Dead Sea water, the perfect reflection of the Divine gift that is this glorious earth...reflections of perfection...here i am, a truly unique place on the planet, one of a kind...ah, the Israeli hotel breakfast!!! fruits, the freshest dairy anywhere, cottage cheese, yogurts, lebaney (sour cheese) fetas, peaches, granolas, melons adorned my plate, there was anythibng you could imagine...3 hours later our 2nd round took on a salad/fish bend...olives, peppers, pickled herring...in between this healthier decadance...sharing a heated pool of Dead Sea water with a bunch of old Jewsih fogies...this water is unexplainable, the perfect compliment to harsh Israel...healing...ah, how i needed that, what a gift, what a gift...out the the shore for a wade through the cooler water, collecting salt crystals...peace, tranquility, 4 low flying fighter jets...ah, Israel...hard to leave but back for a shower and the 444 bus to Yerushaliem...solo now, leave auntie to write and make another pilgrimage...pass Masada, i didn't know it was so close, here is where was the last Jewish outpost against the Roman conquerors, where as the Romans finally were able to build a land bridge up to reach them, they ritually committed suicide rather than surrender and be captured alive...glimpses of older struggles...date palms, I remember this spot, Yoel, Ev and I slept here on the beach last time in Israel, and then I hitchhiked to a Riveroots gig in Tel Aviv, made it for soundcheck...Willis was nowhere to be seen...such colors...faded siennas, ochers, turquoise blues and greens, white slat, scattered greens...desolation beauty...As I sit from my air-conditioned bus and sip my bottled 'Eden' brand water I wonder, "how did they survive here?" the bus slows for a bit of washed out road from the storm, and then 2 deer...the must be water back there somewhere...2nd climb to Yerushaliem...same steeple in the distance, pin-like pines and olive dotted countryside, where else can you see a man walking his goats among the city streets...temperature dropping...i'm here, here i am...Aliyayyah!....call Eliyahu on the cell, meet in Zion square..."been caught stealing" playing in the photo store...the amount of action here overwhelming after the Dead Sea...great variety of people i enjoy crowd watching...beautful dark peoples...heading to the Shuk (shook) to buy food for dinner...i remeber it here, same olive guy on the corner...(Diano and I stayed here before last time around)...this place took a bomb awhile back when the infitada started up again...death has become closer to us all...tea, cooking, another great library (Eliyahus') and off to a small birthday party for a local Jewish/Sufi bookstore owner Ya'acob with Eliyahu and Anna who just arrived again after 2 1/2 years ago as well, we actually met back then, a truly divine soul...poetry, from his sweet mother (who baked him this heart shaped cake), himself, Rebbe Nachman and beloved Rumi...and now...here we sit side by side in Eliyahu's office where I am fortunate enough to write to you...if anyone is reading, please send me an email and let me know! Tomorrow i am off to the old city, to pray, to explore, to the Wall and to the Arab shuk and perhaps by a Oriental music school i just found out about outside the Jaffa gate...will see Ev and we will hunt down a sheepskin for her in the Shuk...to some used bookstores and then back to the Dead Sea to hopefully get a little more of that healing water (and breakfast!) and escort Bunny back to Safed...i will write again when i can! Love and blessing to you all, know you all travel with me in my heart always...

"Friend, our closeness is this:
Anywhere you put your feet, feel me
in the firmness underneath you.
How is it with this love,
I see you world and not you?"
Rumi

1/13/02

Just a quick update...
After the intense cold snap and snow and being up all night very cold, I got a small bout of sickness and exhaustion...recovered from that after a couple days in Safed and had a nice mellow Shabbat weekend with Bunny...one of the highlights was walking around the old city last night, the old stone and faded walls, the faded blues...a bit of heaven and earth...incredible...I will try and describe them more in the future...taking peeks into the different Synagogues on the close of Shabbat...the night view of beautiful little Mount Meron nearby...

Just came down to Gabriel's today to help him pack and clean for his trip to America and Costa Rica...feels like packing my house up not so long ago...washing windows, organizing the most amazing book collection... Tomorrow I will be taking Bunny to the Dead Sea where she will be treating herself to two nights in a Spa...after that cold week it's needed...and due to lack of funds and desire, I will be heading to Yerushaliem (Jerusalem) for the first time this trip...I'll look to hook up with Eliyahu there, visit the Wall/Old City etc. and spend the two days there until I go and pick up Bunny again at the Dead Sea...I'll try to write from there...

Ah, the sun is back and shining! Halleluyah!
I have a hot water shower now! Halleluyah!
I'm very quickly running out of money! Send some! SMILE!

1/8/02
Well, it's 4am in the morning, and if you can imagine this, it's been snowing, thunder and lightning for the last day and the hills of the Galilee are covered in a rare cold whiteness...it's freezing cold in these houses designed for fairer weather...earlier last night Moshe and I, were translating my song "Eye of Joseph" into Hebrew "Iney Yoseph"...next to the fire as thunder and lightning roared and flashed and we danced around singing "Eliyahu Ha Navi" and vocalizing our small part of the celestial orchestra that seems to dance in my head from time to time, quite thrilling actually, kept us warm anyway!...i'm currently in Amirim, a village close to Safed (Tsvat) housesitting at my friend Gabriels'...so no one can get jealous thinking of me in the sunny middleast! Tomorrow we will attempt the road to Safed and explore what the snow has done there and reconnect with Bunny (my auntie)...

...but of course, there is almost 4 weeks of travel behind me...

01/04/02
Last night I hooked up with my dear old friend Moshe; Moshe was the second Israeli I met, the first being Yoel, who in a moment of intuition turned his car around on the middle of his journey to Burning Man to return to Arcata (already I think hours away), and found himself walking into a club in the main square to witness myself joining Devachan onstage for a song (Riveroots and Devachan were on a westcoast tour at the time, Aug. 98?)...he was inspired to meet me and this happened the next day at the Coop there as we were stocking up on supplies for Burning Man...I got his number and address in Israel, as I already thought at this time that I would be heading there that winter, though later I find us heading to Australia, where the first person I would meet was a Jewish girl named Ev who would later be the friend who helped connect the dots to Riveroots' journey to Israel (May 1999?)...by the way, she's here in Israel now and we've spent some quality time together, but I'll get to that later...

So, anyway, I run into Yoel with Moshe, (who he had been travelling with to Burning Man and left to come to Arcata to meet me), at Trinity Tribal Stomp at the casbah tent and I invite them to come to our last show of the tour in Seattle at the Sit and Spin and tell them they should come and stay with me...they do and end up staying awhile, Moshe for a month, and Yoel for two...I rememer Moshe saying once, "all I have to do is sit at your kitchen table and the whole world will come to me"...it was a time of drinking red wine and toasting life and learning to sing "La Chaim" (to life), and my first hebrew lessons...most notably the "Shma" the cornerstone of Jewish prayers, "Sh'ma Yisrael Adonai Eleohenu Adonai Echad" "Oh Hear Israel, the Eternal is our God, God is One"...(nongender specific by the way)...this is the prayer that begins my song "Ameyen"...some day I'll have to tell you the story of there journey of finding a 'mezzuza' the prayer that put outside of the doorway, on Yom Kippor...I just heard this from Moshe this trip in it's entirety and it's a great tale...

Anyway, I hadn't seen Moshe since that time, when he left to go to Mexico and on the way met a girl named India and they travelled as far as Guatamala and then he was off to Australia...

So it's been nice reconnecting (smile).

Friday, before Shabbat, we did some shopping with Bunny, bought some little mediterranean fishes and other such nicities (we're up in the high hills, overlooking the Sea of Galilee, or Kineret as they call it here) and then we took a drive up into these sweet hills and got a beautiful view of the Mt. Hebron in the distance on the Syrian border, capped with snow, while closer to us was the stunning rock garden slopes of caves and old olive and almond trees...a short distance up to visit the old tomb of a 'matchmaker' Rabbi where people make pilgrimage to pray and recieve blessings to empower the finding of a good mate, husband or wife...I hear whole busloads of women will role in...it was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, the weather was sweet, the clouds...ahhh the sun, didn't want to leave that light upon my face...Moshe mentioned that his father had said to circle the tomb so we very slowly walked around the outside of the tomb in a deep silence.....though later Moshe mentioned you are supposed to walk around the tomb 7 times, and that we'll just have to return (smile)...we entered the tomb, one side for men, one side for women, where 2 Israeli soldiers were praying, I wondered if getting married would get them out of the army?...Moshe read a great passage from one of books there (everything was in Hebrew, I could only admire and recognize certain symbols) ...I believe it was of the old story where David had slept with another man's wife and had been told this story by an angel and had been greatly angered and said "who has done this should be condemned!" and was told it was none other than you, whereas he was able to see his faults etc...(the extremely simplified version!)...We left the tomb and the countryside with a nice feeling of peace...

We returned to Safed (Tsvat) and prepared a beautiful Shabbas dinner, the little fishies, hummous with ful (egyptain beans), cornbread (one sweet with dates and raisens, one without), an avocado salad, Moshe's famous tahina sauce, kasha, cucumbers, greens, sweet wine (for toasting, prayers, welcoming the Bride) and good dry red wine. We sang a sweet song I had learned last Shabbat from Gabriel of calling in the Angels...

All was well until I recieved that 3am phonecall on my new Israeli cellphone (I'm officially an Israeli now, smile)...

Should I mention the tale of the all predawn stroll in the ancient graveyard below Safed as I contemplated actually declining the offer to travel to Spain, Portugal and Morocco?

Yes soon.